The journey itself is by its very nature, winding. Although it is our own personal journey it is a fact that we generally allow others to dictate to us what we should believe, where we should go and how we should feel. Indeed, most of it is done with the very best of intentions by those we love i.e. our parents, siblings and friends.

What happens is we tend to segregate ourselves based on our religions, our race, our wealth status and our friends. It is obvious why. We feel safe in our particular environment. Because we do things in a certain way, speak in a certain way, go to a certain school or have a particular type of family heritage, we consider others who do not fit into the same categories as different. They are a potential threat to our confidence (the mental space in which we are comfortable) and thus our personal security, and so we either avoid others or keep them at arms length. Yet, the further along the journey we travel, the more we realise that our own journey is different even to those of our closest friends. It is when we start realising this that some of us start to question if the road we are on is in fact the right one. But how can we tell whether the direction we have taken is the right one?

Here I wish you to imagine yourself standing about 50 metres back from a wall. You are on a path which leads directly to a door in the wall, straight ahead of you. The path in front is slightly unkempt, but still easy to see as a path. As you look up the path, you notice there are many other paths leading off the main path to the left and to the right, and each leads to a different door in the wall. All of them are wide, well managed with flowers beds and gardeners attending them. The only path which seems slightly unkempt is the one going straight ahead.

One of those well maintained paths is the one you have most likely been ‘guided’ into, i.e. Christianity, Islam, Hinduism or any other. Now walk forward, down that path (the one that is most familiar to you) and start walking along it. The walk is pleasant and comforting. Someone welcomes you at the entrance. Indeed you have walked down this way many times before and you probably know the gardeners very well.

When you finally reach the door, have a close look at it. The door represents your religion, the doorway to God. This door is old and it has been meddled with many times over the years. There are old hinges, new hinges, broken hinges, broken handles and new ones screwed in to take their place. The door itself is ill-fitting, slightly tilted and jam-wedged against the wall.

Now open the door. You will have to give it a bit of a tug to get it lose, and with creaking hinges, it opens. Beyond it is a path, only this time the path is heavily encroached upon by undergrowth. This is your pathway to God, and if you take it, you will eventually get there. It will at last and after quite some time, open out onto an open, gently winding path that stretches into the distance. The trouble is, the path ahead of you is very wiggly with much hindrance along your way and several very dark and frightening bits to go through before you get to the junction of the paths. All this hindrance is the dogma created by organised religion and their human hierarchies.

May I suggest you close the door and walk back down to the central path from whence you started? If you look down all the other paths that go off the main one, you will find that they are all very similar to the one you have just been down; an old creaky patched-up door and a pathway beyond it with much undergrowth encroaching.

May I suggest you brave the slightly unkempt main path that runs ahead of you and approach the door in the wall? The path may be slightly unkempt but it is firm, and natural flowers and trees abound all round. When you reach the door, look closely at it. It is old, far older than all the others by miles, but it looks fresh, feels fresh and the hinges and the handles are originals. A light seems to pour through the keyhole as if there is bright sunlight on the other side.

Now open the door. The door opens easily, and there, stretching ahead of you is a gently winding path that leads ahead. All around is warm and light. The path is easy to follow and at each bend, a wooden bench appears for you to sit on, relax and connect to your own higher self which will guide you on to the next stage. Each stage of the journey is a new experience, with more to learn and a chance to recognise your own divine nature, to accept and welcome in your own divinity.

Along the main path, you will see other paths occasionally emerge from the sides. They are the paths from the other doors that finally lead to this main path. They have travelled a long, challenging and circuitous route to reach it and at last emerge onto the true inner path to God. Once they are on the main path however, they are finally on their way home. Just as you are, or hopefully soon will be. The journey home to God.

The next stage of your journey is up to you.

What Nouwen seemed to understand was that God does not see us as separate from him. Nouwen saw us as a part of God. He clearly understood, in a way that most regular Christians do not, that Jesus Christ was not alone as the son of God. We are all sons and daughters of God.

On the question of ‘who are we?’, Nouwen breaks it down into three categories in which, in this 3 dimensional world we are constantly trapped, not realising that there is a completely different picture if we would only slow down and allow ourselves the pleasure of tuning into ourselves.

1) I am what I do. (Job, charitable work etc)
2) I am what others say about me. (As long as it is good, we are happy. As soon as it is unpleasant or hurtful, it affects us, sometimes dramatically.)
3) I am what I have. (family history, family members, possessions).

He calls this a process of ‘survival’ and despite what we have achieved, what we own and what people say about us, we may still, when we come to die, be wondering who we really are and why we are here.

I wonder how many of us have grown up doing what others have suggested we do? For example, did your parents shove you in a certain direction when you were younger? Were you encouraged to follow the family ‘route’ and be a soldier, banker, solicitor, shopkeeper or anything else? Did you actually have the chance to explore what it was that you really wanted to do? It is in finding out who you really are and what makes you tick that allows you to blossom and flourish with a vibrancy that comes from deep within.

One of my favourite quotes explains this very simply. It reads as follows;

“When I reach the next world, they will not ask me why I was not Moses. They will ask me why I was not Zuzia”.
Rabbi Zuzia of Hannipol

Nouwen recognised that there was more to this spiritual relationship with God. “Claim your belovedness…what is said of Jesus is said of you…you and I are the beloved sons and daughters of God…claim it…make it your own”.
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Part of understanding that we are more than we think we are is realising that there is a separate part of ourselves, which is best described as the ‘higher self’. This is the part directly connected with God. This is the part of us that, if we claim it, we will realise that we are bigger, more capable and really quite extraordinary creators, that we can achieve so much more than we could ever imagine and in so doing, help others along their own personal journeys.

The world is changing around us. The energy is changing for the better and the ‘credit crunch’ is all part of this massive adjustment. This crisis is part of a timely adjustment that is occurring globally which is seeing new changes that include amongst other things the collapse of the age old financial power houses, the calling to account of the ruling elite (UK parliamentarians) and the election of a seemingly inexperienced democratic President in the USA who has a propensity for thinking “out of the box” and is an Afro-American. No-one could have imagined any of this 5 years ago.

Now is the time to seek out who you really are and where necessary, adjust your priorities. Nothing could be more satisfying than to be doing something which genuinely comes from the heart, that part of us where the ‘higher self’ resides.

Henri Nouwen can be seen speaking of this on the following link. It is well worth watching.  http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3701709082567809182

We have a car which, if you open the bonnet, I can (give or take a few bits) provide a name for all the carefully spaced parts of the engine. Now a friend of ours has a new car. This is completely different. If you open the bonnet, it has what appears to be a mass of different parts, all somehow squashed into (what appears to be) this tiny space. It is in fact larger than the space under our bonnet, but it doesn’t look like it. Inside the car is a computer and the whole car runs via this system. If the car breaks down, only an expert, or at least someone with the specialised equipment, can repair it.

Thank goodness that’s not how we work! Despite the fact that we have the most remarkable capabilities, we still all have (as we have always had) the same basic central desire to love and to be loved and to feel needed, valued and appreciated. I have many men friends who would scoff at that as ‘nonsense’ or ‘girlie stuff’, but beneath all the bluster and the hormones, the same desires remain. Without these central needs being met, our lives take a different turn as we search for alternative solutions.

So why are these desires so powerful? Why are our lives so driven by them? As a child is drawn to its mother and looks to its parents for protection, so we begin to see the power of this relationship. When the child is older, it is the solidarity of that love that gives them the strength and confidence to go out and make their own progress in the world. Equally, without it, things can go very wrong indeed.

As small portions of God, we are all part of a much grander whole. Our aim, ultimately, is to find our way back to God, this great energy source. It is the draw of this central source that is echoed by the relationship between mother and child – the difference is that God’s love is not always noticed.

“So why can’t I feel it, why don’t I notice it?” you might ask. Good question. The answer is that we are all so concerned with the ‘person’ we are and how we fit into the world around us, how we should act, dress and speak, that we loose touch with our inner selves. Or lives are so full of noise and external stimulation in the form of internal mental chatter, pressure of work, constant TV and music etc that we never stop to slow down and really think who we are and what we are really doing here. Often the first time we stop and clearly take notice of ourselves is when there is a bereavement or some kind of devastating news. At moments like this, we look inwards.

The key is to keep looking inwards a little bit every day. The more you do through meditation or quiet time, the more you connect with that inner source of energy and love. From that grows an understanding of your relationship with God, and with it an energy and strength that supersedes any confidence (or lack of it) you may have built around your ego self. You will begin to realise that you are special and that with the gifts you already have, you can achieve remarkable things; greater in fact, than you have ever imagined possible.

I have been to some really extraordinary church services that have left me in awe. The whole process of the various different ceremonies is steeped in history with amazing costumery and alter coverings and wonderful traditions. It is always impressive. Add to that magnificent voices of a well voiced and well practised choir and the whole process is electrifying. Our priesthood read from the bible and impart the word of God and give sermons which aim to rouse us and cause us to reflect on our relationship with God and with others.

All of this is good stuff, but it also enhances our belief that God is ultimately responsible for everything. This is why when a great tragedy occurs, people get very angry with God and challenge him. ‘If you are so omnipotent, why did these people have to die’, or similar.

I don’t think God needs, or even expects all these wonderful ceremonies. We are all small portions of him and he is connected to us energetically at all times. I don’t believe there is any separation, and more than that, one of the greatest gifts of this planet is the aspect of free will. God does not tell us what to do. Through his great messengers like Christ, Buddha, Mohammed, Lau tsu and others, he has imparted information on how best to run our lives and to evolve, but there is no stipulation. Ultimately, we are responsible for our own lives. How we live them will not be forgotten, but more on that later.

There are many tribes around the world who have wonderfully simple ceremonies to thank God for everything. What makes them compelling is their simplicity. The Bushmen in the Kalahari believe that everything has a spirit, something most of us don’t really think about. When a bushman has stalked and killed an animal to feed his family, he apologises to the animal’s spirit for having to kill it and explains why he has had to do this, asks for its forgiveness and wishes its spirit well in the afterlife. The family group will later thank God for a successful hunt so the family could eat. This to me shows a wonderful deference to and respect for the rest of life.

How we communicate with God, the energy source, the great intelligence is a very personal matter, but we would do well to realise that he is closer to us than we think, and that whatever we do, however we treat anyone else or any creature, we are ultimately doing it to him. God is in everyone and everything. There is no separation.

Well, let’s examine it. Perhaps the simplest form of energy to explain is electricity. When you switch on a light, the bulb glows as electricity (energy) is allowed down a wire to an element where it causes the thin metal to glow. This is physically connected energy.

So what about television? There is certainly electricity as with the light bulb, but there is an additional feature – the electromagnetic signal. Here the signal (energy) is being absorbed by various components which convert them into visible and audible signals, but no wires this time.

Have you ever met anyone who exudes an extraordinary ‘energy’ when they enter a room? They seem to stop the conversation in its tracks. How does this happen? Well, it is the energy they exude which affects us all. At the same time when someone is very depressed, being around them can be hard work as they are exuding a very negative energy which can drain our own.

Through quantum mechanics, scientists have now been able to break down in particle accelerators the very smallest sub-atomic particles and they have discovered that there is nothing solid at the point of particle formation. All there is, is energy. So every single particle that exists in and around this planet is formed from energy, and it is not different energy, it is the same energy. What is different of course is the form in which the energy shows itself, for example a tree, a rain storm or a sound. Or of course, as a person.

If you were to weigh someone shortly before they died and then shortly after, they would weigh the same. Now you could argue that all that has stopped is the heart, and that life has ceased. That is true, but what makes that person who they are? What gives them their personality, their exuberance, their laugher, their very essence? Their energy? Well, that comes from God. That is the spirit within us.

God, or this supremely powerful and intelligent energy is ultimately the source of everything. The energy with which we are made up and our essence, the spirit within us, all come from and are a part of the same thing. Hence my analogy in my last column of contemplating God as the sea. There is a lot of water in the sea, but if you lean down and scoop up a glass of seawater, then you have a metaphor of yourself – a glass of God. All we have done in the past is to complicate this by assuming that God and the evolution theory are completely different – well they aren’t. They are one and the same. All that has happened is that through history, we have all assumed that God is this ‘person’ , this ‘being’ who has commanded our lives for us and the message still prevails – that he is an all-powerful, demanding and yet deeply compassionate figure from whom we are separated.

There is, clearly, much more to it than that.

And yet as far back as records go, God has played a part in the lives of humanity. What has of course varied is how we perceive him. And right there of course is a point in question – is it a him or a her? Or neither? And what does God look like?

I remember thinking God looked a bit like Neptune. He was this rather tall ageing masculine European figure with a long white beard and a deep voice sitting on a throne with a very benevolent look on his face. In 1980 when I travelled across Africa, I visited a church in Sudan where huge wall murals depicted God, Christ and each of the apostles as tall elegant black men. In Hinduism they have many Gods, all different, but they all have one thing in common – they are Asian.

The point I am making is that as none of us really know what God looks like, we generally depict him in the most comfortable format we can find, i.e. like ourselves. This seems a perfectly sensible thing to do in the circumstances, but it was also an ideal way for our early religious leaders to present the creator. After all if God was depicted as a tree, it might not have been quite as easy to encourage worship. And of course, it worked. I think George Bernard Shaw hit the nail squarely on the head when he said “the average Britisher believes that God is an Englishman”.

But who or what then is God? Well first of all, there cannot logically be lots of Gods who each created a portion of everything and who claim a portion of humanity, all sitting around a table discussing their different Kingdoms and claiming souls with shouts of glee every time a child is born. That makes no sense at all. It seems obvious that there can only be one God, one creator, and I would go further. God is not a person and nor is he/she an object. God is a force of energy, an intelligence that exists in everything. Thus we are all in some way, a part of God. Perhaps the best way to describe this is to imagine yourself at the seaside. Look out over the sea and imagine how much seawater there is across the globe. Then imagine that God is the sea. Now lean down, dip a glass into the sea, and lift out a glass of seawater. What you have in your hand is a metaphor of yourself. A glass of God. It is not as big as God and it is not as strong as God but it is a part of God. It is the same energy. We, and everything else we have ever been aware of (and much much more) is what God is – the force of energy that both created, and is, everything.